Day 10 2/14/2020
In comparison to how this day has treated me emotionally thought out the years, only had the opportunity to celebrate Valentine’s Day last year for the first time, today wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. Usually on this day, I sit alone, smoking of course, reminiscing about past flames, most of which were just fabricated one-sided relationships in my mind, wondering why am I not able to find someone that I can share this day with and love. However today, I would say mostly with the assistance of Lamictal, I didn’t feel nearly as sad and down as I normally would. Yes, I did spend most of the off moments I had during work today thinking about my ex and all the fun and happy times we shared. I got a little sad, but mostly I was just smiling from the fond memories I still have of her and our time together, p.s. she’s the most beautiful girl, and most special person I have ever had the chance of meeting.
I think the fact I am able to surround myself with so many like minded people when I work at the studio that that comradely keeps me in a good, safe, and happy place. I have been working with this same group of people at this studio for the past three years. They are now an extension of my family, even more so then some people I have known for years. I would go as far to say that the studio owner, who took a chance on me three years ago as an aspiring engineer, is not only my mentor, but my second father. This relationship is one of the main reasons I made the choice to come back up to continue working with him after moving to Florida to get my head and life together.
His teachings have done wonders for me over the last three years. Giving me the opportunity to because his main engineer off of two less than 10 minute phone interviews while I was working at a dead end studio job in Atlanta, was the greatest blessing at the time. Over the last three years he has taught me how to be a better engineer, know how to develop and work with artists in all genres, and has helped me navigate through my mental health issues, as we share some of the same problems. He has said numerous times, “I don’t get along with anyone. I am crazy. I don’t understand how you and I get along so well. You’re crazy, and you don’t like anyone either. But somehow, we just understand each other and we just work.”
He is the one that has given me the opportunity to grow from being just a recording engineer, to becoming a head studio engineer, to then become part of his A&R team, to becoming studio manger, to becoming a partner and apprentice in publishing, and finally partnering with him to build our own company. His guidance in the music industry has lead me to not only become recognized as a go-to engineer in north New Jersey, recognized by a music engineer school as one of top success stories, but also as the next in line to not only run this company but the next publisher to watch in the up coming years.
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